Lost // 27.01.21

The world opened up as much as her mind allowed. She began to breathe in a new chapter to her life as she brought her right arm up, shielding her face against the dying rays of a fast-departing sun. The clouds had parted and she wrote poetry with her eyes, pupils dancing around in her skull like a pen that twirls across a freshly-cut page.

Perception // 21.01.21

I lie here, belly down, bare feet dangling from the edge of my soft bed with the light blue sheets. A gentle, cooling breeze penetrates the room, surrounding me with the heavenly rustle of leaves through the wide open window. Summer is fraught with turbulence and daily change, the land a hapless victim to daily transformations. Like seedlings we all bend and sway to the commands of Mother Nature, but we know, we know that even with all the rain that comes with the season the sun will eventually peek its head out, the clouds will part and the best parts of summer will invite us outside with his warming embrace. I am the token summer baby in my family, an off-beat, individualistic Aquarius through and through. I love turning things around, navigating the dynamic nuance of everyday living, twisting my body to see a different side of it all.  And so it is with an utmost delight when - and it is the first time in a long time when I have pulled back my bedroom window blinds - I look up, stun

comma // 9.11.20

she thinks herself broken by the hands of he who relentlessly tried to fix it, feels his shift and sway on drunken nights in the cursed breeze, a barren sigh through stinging cheeks as buffeted by purple rain and even to the burning clock she senses your tease . . .  we are, she believes, in the midst of a comma, she knows herself as only cup half-full in the one with capacity to love, feels the weightlessness of boundaries he set aside for you, another pound of her heart all precious thoughts left unsaid on your bedsheets these tangled legs she crawled into . . . and still, she believes, this comma hurt too much, she feels her tired body scream in waves as a phantom's touch unravels it, feels his tongue dance seduction across the nervous navel, a spark so brilliant ignites in bright eyes casting shadows by flickering candlelight she bleeds for you, unstable --- I felt, I felt, I felt a breakthrough. I cried today. The kind of tears that flow out in violent waves causing the whole

David // 23.09.20

 If I were to scrounge around in my childhood room, how long would it take for me to find some trace, even just a smidgen of evidence that uncle David's existence helped shape my life? Because if it weren't for him, I would not have known what it feels like to have "fallen in love" with three brothers, each devastatingly handsome and equal-amounts unattainable to the shy and frumpy little lovesick girl of my younger years. I would secretly look forward to each encounter, when my father and their father would arrange another yum cha - it was always yum cha - and how my heart would get stuck in my throat with each tentative glance across the table at one boy, a hesitant smile at another. These boys taught me what it feels like to love someone without knowing absolutely anything about them. Having these boys in my life brought about my first foray into schoolgirl fantasy of that glorious, oft-sought after "happily-ever-after" that fairytales, Disney and love so

midnight train: a departure from the v word // 7.07.20

I choose me And I know that's selfish, love You are a dream And I can't thank you enough But I give another piece of me away Every waking day that I'm with you Am I a monster? What will your family think of me?  They brought me in They helped me out with everything But I give a little piece of me away Every single day So I pick up the pieces I get on the midnight train I got my reasons But darling I can't explain I'll always love you But tonight's the night I choose to walk away Love you so much That I have to let you go I'll miss your touch And the secrets we both know But it would be wrong for me to stay And I'll just give you hope - midnight train, sam smith ~~~ I catch myself reflected in the glow of my computer screen, a tear shimmering in the corner of my eye. As quickly as it appears, in a blink it is wiped away and any trace of it has vanished. This song, this moment hurts, and it seems immensely, profoundly, stupidly important t